Kiki's Owner Manual V.2.0

Part A: Family Background/History
(this might explain some of my quirks)

• I am the youngest of four children. I am also the surprise baby no one knew about until it was too late :P I am not a normal "baby of the family" though, instead of basking in being able to get away with things, I was under a much stricter rule than any of my siblings before me. I get reminded about this a lot.
• My family wasn't terribly communicative with each other. We are not a close family. There is much animosity between certain members of my family. I prefer to keep as far as I can from them when possible.  
• There was no talk about feelings growing up. I learned at an early age that if you were sad, you sucked it up and kept it to yourself. I only remember seeing family express anger and hate. This is one reason I have a hard time admitting to how I feel. Though, I've gone the opposite way. I don’t like expressing anger, hate, or sadness. As unrealistic as it might be, I like seeing sunshine and rainbows in my day.
• I have abandonment issues, big-time. I'm aware of them and keep them in check, but I suspect they will always be there. I've tried my best to work on them and am much better than I used to be. 
• I have no real ties to my maternal family; I grew up only knowing my father’s family. This seems to amaze people a lot.
• My family is Catholic. Not devout Catholic, but Catholic non-the-less. I was raised in the Catholic Church but, starting in high school, have considered myself more Lutheran. I even went as far as attending, not one, but TWO different Lutheran colleges.
• I am the first in my immediate family to go to, and complete, undergrad.
• I was the one my parents expected to be the most studious and do something with my life. While my siblings could do as they wanted, it was made clear that it was expected I stay home and study – so I could get good grades. This is an underlying reason that I feel the need to do well at things and to make people in my life happy and proud of me. It’s also the reason I do need some form of VERBAL recognition for things I do.
• Major depression is actually genetic in my family. We all have had our different ways of dealing with it. Some turned to being bitter, others turned to retail therapy, and there were a few of us who turned to alcohol. I was one of those, which is why I keep a distance from drinking.
• My mom passed away in 2006. This put me in a role that forced me to take care of my family. Not the best role, but it works for now. I am a natural caregiver. I will try to take care of anyone sick, hurt, depressed, etc. 
• I got married when I was 20 and separated right before our third anniversary. I don't see anything wrong with marriage - but I do now encourage people to hold off just a tad longer :p
• I have high maternal instincts - so I've been told. I have helped raised my nieces and nephews; while married, I helped with my 5 year old brother-in-law. I have also been mistaken for these children's mother, so I will make random jokes about not needing my own children or having 4/5 children of my own :P
• So, I am finally ready to admit this publicly since only 2 people have ever known this and they are no longer in my life. But I was a big time cutter from 8th grade until the end of my sophomore year of college. No one knew and I hid them very well, even when I was in shorts most of the time (yay soccer!). They were always small, just enough to get a drop or so of blood and enough to get adrenaline going and my hands shaking. It was my coping mechanism until I turned to alcohol. 

Part B: How to turn me on Emotionally

• Be there when I call at least some of the time. Even better, call me every now and then. I don’t mind calling people, but there comes a point where I would like to receive a call from a significant other just because he/she was thinking of me. Texting and online chatting is fine, but sometimes, I just want to hear your voice. If we’re long distance, actually cam chat me once in a while. Talking on skype is fine, but I want to actually SEE YOUR FACE as we talk.
• Don’t do hints. I suck at taking hints. If you want me to do something, say it outright. Want me to wear something, pick it out and tell me to wear it. 
• Let me take care of you once in a while. I love that you might want to take care of me, but realize that I want to take care of you too. Not just in dire situations either, let me take care of some things from day to day. I will gladly care for you in sickness and in health.
• Acknowledge the good things I do, even when the results are less than stellar. I will mess up sometimes, but my intentions are always good at heart. If I burn the cookies I have spent the day attempting to bake for you, just take a bite and thank me. Don’t toss them and tell me how bad they were. I get it and will keep trying. 
• Don’t say that you will be there and then book it. I have a tall and thick brick wall blocking my inner self. When I finally let the bricks come tumbling down, be there for me. I get it can be scary, but if I’m letting them tumble – it means more than you realize. I've always feared that no one will love me for who I am. I will warn you ahead of time that you are always free to leave at a certain point without hurting me. But if you push me to the point of making me demolish the wall, all you've done is reinforce that the walls need to be built higher, and more bricks need to be added.
• Hold me when I cry. For goddess' sake, hold me when I cry. Don't try to reason with me, and for fuck's sake, don't try to fix me. Just hold me. For much of my life, there is no one there, and I cry alone a lot. Just being there to hold me is all I need. Making me laugh gets you bonus points.
• Be willing to say "I was wrong" or, even better, "I was an idiot." I have a very low tolerance for this. I'm wrong all the time, myself, and I'm not above admitting I was an idiot. Don’t act like problems are NEVER your fault. It’s annoying and you’re delusional.
• Don’t be ashamed of being with me. I want to meet your family and friends, just as I want you to meet mine. If you’re always hiding me from them, it hurts more than you realize. If you don’t want me meeting people important in your life, what does that say about how important I am to you?
• Get to know my inner child. Take us by the hand and let’s go to the toy store and pick out coloring books and maybe a new stuffed animal.
• Get to know my inner pup. I have a lot of actions and behaviors that are very canine-like. Don't be afraid to ask the pup to come out and play for a while. You will realize that I can be even more hyper and fun when that happens.
• Don't ever talk bad about my Daddy. He has been there for me when everyone else decided I was too much or not important enough. He is my best friend and I will not hesitate to drop people from my life because they talked crap about him. I get if he's not your cup of tea, but learn to tolerate it, keep your mouth shut, or there's the door.
• Let me know how you've been. I will always try to talk to people as much as I can remember to. If someone stops putting forth effort to talk to me when I'm trying, I will wonder what I DID wrong to push the person away and I will slowly start to shut down.
• Let me known if I've been on your mind. Chances are, you've been on mine but I'm too shy to say so. 
• Don't make me wonder where I stand with you. Come out and say it. Be completely honest with me.  Otherwise, I will sit here wondering what the hell happened and what I did wrong. 

Sexually: Flirting

• Be passionate about something you just learned. I don't care much what the subject is. But a passion for learning is just plain sexy. Talk to me about it, explain things to me. If I hear the passion in your voice, I will get caught up in listening to you
• Quote a funny movie or TV show you've seen. I might not have heard of it, but if you catch my interest, I’ll ask you to watch it with me sometime
• Wear a kilt. I discovered Renaissance faires in college and melted at the sight of all the men in kilts. I melt for a man in a kilt who kisses my hand and calls me "m'lady," then whispers much naughtier things in my ears.shudders in pleasure
• Let’s go to an arcade or somewhere unusual for a date. Dinner and movies are fine, but I’d much rather go to a drive-in movie theater, or try to beat you at the latest arcade game.
• Cook for me. Most men seem to think that the woman should only cook for him. Surprise me with a small romantic dinner, made completely by you.
• Take my hand and kiss it. 
• Look me in the eye when we talk and pull my face to look at yours when I get embarrassed and look away. 
• Grab my hand, spin me, and pull me into your arms. ^-^
• The quickest way to get me to blush is to pull me close against you and whisper "You're such a good girl" into my ear, then kissing my forehead - this works especially well in public and I will turn into your own little tomato 
• Pull me close and give me the tightest hug you can give! 
• Tell me a joke that will make me laugh so much I will gigglesnort lol

Sexually: Sex

• I am over casual sex, it’s no longer fun to me. I prefer sex with someone I have a connection with, whether it be in a relationship or just a friend with benefits situation
• I like to be teased. I can take a lot of teasing, but there better be a payoff at the end. I can get very upset and will never play with you again if there is just teasing with nothing else.
• I am loud in bed. I will moan, I will scream. You have been warned.
• I love kissing. It’s the ultimate foreplay for me. Start off slow then let things get steamier. Also, I LIKE FOREPLAY. Trying to go straight into sex is a no-go for me.
• Don't be afraid to be rough with me. I am not a fragile doll that will break with applied pressure. I am a big girl and can handle it. 
•  Start way before you will physically see me. Naughty texts of what I can expect will get me into the mood way before I see you. 
• Find the right spot on my neck to bite - and I will turn to mush

Part C: Turn ons:

• Grab my hair and pull it hard.
• Tell me what you want to make me do. Even if you don’t make me do it, I love hearing some sadistic things in bed.
• Gag me, throw me on the bed, and fuck me until you’re exhausted (only in a committed relationship though. I have to trust you for this to work).
• Feel free to claw me. Nails across my back, shoulders, chest, neck…I’m fine with all the above
• Be willing to take some resistance from me. Sometimes I don’t want to going willingly on the bed and lay there for you. Sometimes I want to resist and make it hard for you
• Ask me about my kinks and fetishes, then surprise me by working them into some play time.
• Talk dirty to me. It doesn't have to be forced or filthy, but I like hearing from you
• Don’t be afraid to make noise. I love to hear someone moaning, groaning, and/or grunting. I find it sexy and lets me know it feels good for you. If that's not your thing, just let me know I'm doing well. 
• Being confident in what you like
• This is a bit shallow - but arm muscles and a nice chest will win me over. Especially the arms lol. Arm muscles are a weakness of mine. 
• Teasing me until I beg for you then letting me have it ;)
• Kilts <3
• Laughing when something funny happens. If we lean in to kiss and knock heads, just laugh because it's funny. I'll feel like an idiot and will start to move away if I laugh and you're just sitting there seething. 
• Being told I'm a "good girl" 

Part D: Turn offs:

• Insulting your former partners. Guys who describe their exes as “crazy” or say bad things about them and come off as they never did anything wrong in previous relationships. 
• Not saying what you want/like. I get you want to do things I like, but I want to do things YOU like too.
• Ultimatums. Forcing me to do something or threatening to leave is a big no-no.
• Arrogance thinking you’re the best at everything in bed. No one is the best and everyone can improve.
• Telling me that you can’t wait to do something, and going on about how much you love this, but then never do it. 
• Teasing me without a payoff.
• Going on and on about how many bad relationship choices I made before you. If I made so many bad choices…what does that say about you too?
• Making me believe that everything I have done was a bad decision and that you have never made a bad one if your life.
• Not understanding that life is not peaches and cream for everyone, I get I like thinking about sunshine and rainbows, but I realize really bad things happen to people and that people make mistakes. However, you shouldn't think that everyone should live more like you.
• Avoiding me for days and days, then telling me you were just "busy" and then turning around and saying "things aren't working out". Tell me that things aren't working out, don't just avoid me in hopes I'll take the hint and leave. 
• Thinking people should be more like you.
• Saying things are fine when they aren't. Grow a pair and tell me things aren't working how you thought they were or that you're unsure of something.
• Not admitting to your past mistakes. 
•  Being annoyingly aggressive. I like to be dominated but there is a difference. Learn it! >__<
• Touching my feet. Just...DO NOT touch them. >__>
•  Not taking "No" for an answer. 
• Taking people for granted or using others. 

Part E: Quirks

• I make lots of puppy noises without realizing it. I will growl, whine, whimper, and yelp. 
•  When in an uncomfortable situation, I will make lots of weird comments to make people laugh
• If I start to giggle too much, I will actually giggle-snort
• I scrunch up my nose and make funny faces when given food I don't like
• I blush a lot >___<
• If I see a spider, I will scream and run as far as I can from it OR I will freeze and whimper until it is gone
• I sing along to songs in movies
• If I'm feeling down, I will sit with a jar of peanut butter and a spoon and eat the peanut butter straight out the jar
• I sing to food as I'm cooking it. Usually, I sing a song about how yummy it will taste and about how I will devour said food
• When eating gummi bears, I will make them fight back and do voices, then make them scream as I eat them >__>
• I will try not to ever use blue inked pens unless I'm doodling
• My bestie is a stuffed golden retriever named Taco (MisterTaco)
• If I'm especially bored, be prepared for random rawrs and me stomping around proclaiming I am a "BIG DRAGON!!!!" and possibly gnawing on your arm, leg, chest, cheek...whatever appendage that I can get to lol
• I can, will, and do chase small animal while out in public. I will chase them for fun or to scare them off...especially squirrels and pigeons 
• When really sick, I am forever like a little kid. I don't want to eat, I just want to lay with my stuffed animals, be under my blankie, watch cartoons, and have someone near me.