Tired Kind of Day

I am exhausted right now. I have been up since early this morning. I didn't wake to my alarm though, honestly I didn't even hear it go off. No, I woke up to my sister screaming at the top of her lungs. So, instead of getting up, I just stood in bed and prayed the arguing would stop. This is nothing new, there has always been screaming going on in my family. I learned at a young age that screaming is the way to be heard in this family, I didn't adapt well to that. So I stood in bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering when the screaming would stop. I stood in bed, even after hearing my Dad march his way down the stairs and scream at my sister. My dad is many things, a screamer is not really one of those things. He doesn't bother with the screaming until it hits his last nerve. I sighed and figured it was time to get up and start getting ready. I had the joy of a birthday party to attend.

My Dad has been recently trying to get us to mingle with his girlfriend's family. They already view my Dad as their step-dad, and tell everyone that. So, it was one of his "grandbabies" first birthdays, so we went. I stayed down stairs. I haven't been feeling festive these past few weeks. I have cancelled lunches with friends, days to hang out - honestly, it was the lack of money. But these past two weeks or so, it's because I just don't want much human contact. The human contact I do want, I can't have. On the bright side, my Dad's girlfriend introduced me to some members of her family that she had me tell me quick qualifications to and I built a small network at the party. This is awesome because since graduation in December 2011, I have not had luck with finding a job. The only thing is, if I manage to get a job, I can't leave. I'd have to stay in Chicago for a few more years, possibly longer than a few, and there goes my plans for getting out of the Midwest, away from everything I need to.

You see, my pain is located in the Midwest. I have many good memories, but the bad outweigh the good. I'm in a bit of a tough spot right now. I could spend the money and get what I need to possibly get a job here. Or I can try to get out of the Midwest, go where I want, and get a job.

On another note, my great-nephew is coming over again. And, Master seems busy tonight. So, I might sneak   Lil' Man (great-nephew) away for a while to hangout and relax with me. :) Or I might just work on a story I've been writing for a few days. Not sure yet