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I feel bad for not posting in a while. I've taken time off to just clear my mind and relax. I get that I don't have a "real job", so I should have all this free time on my hands right? I don't. At home, I'm trying to be as helpful as possible. I do everything that no one else wants to do and then some. My sister has asked me to take charge over my niece when it comes to her medical problems. This means constant monitoring of her to make sure she actually takes her medicine. I get that she's a teen so she should be able to do it by herself, but there are lots of new pills that need to be taken at certain times, I'm just there to make sure she's taking the right ones. Plus, I have to accompany her when she goes to her various doctors (she has her main, then two different specialists she has to see now). I will also be starting my new "job" soon. My niece (another one) is going back to work, so it is me who is going to be taking care of my great-nephew. I don't mind it, I mean, I'll get paid constantly. ^__^ So now, I have a 15 year old and a two month old under my command. Oh dear.

So I took the weekend to go stay with a friend. I haven't seen this friend in over a year, for a variety of reasons. It was a nice weekend. We each had some work to do, but it was nice having someone around while working. We hung out, I met some of his friends, stayed up late, played "Cards Against Humanity" (which I highly recommend lol). AND I got a cuddle buddy for the weekend! :D It was nice to have someone next to me while I fell asleep too. It was nice. It was very much needed.

The only real bad thing that has happened lately is that I haven't had the money to pay my cell phone bill, so it was cut off. I have no money coming in right now, and it's not like I can go to my dad and ask him to spare some. I feel horrible that he's already paying my student loans for me. He shouldn't have to do this. I'm getting really sleepy now lol. I'll probably write more later on, once I've slept and all that jazz.

Times are Changing

It's almost November and all my student loans are looking to get paid again. It is such a frustrating time for me right now. I'm still really getting over my ex and a friendship falling apart. And, of course, my job search still continues. I need something that will hold me over for a while. Even with all the holiday hiring, it seems I still can't catch a break. That's ok though. I know that things will get better for me.

On the bright side, I've finally decided that now is the time for Graduate school. I was reluctant to go because I'd been talked out of it a few times, especially with the hope that I would be moving. The only problem with Grad school is the funding. I'm trying to figure out what body parts and/or organs I have to sell to afford this (just kidding! or am I? >>). But anyway, I really want to continue on with social work. I have my dream of starting my own NPO and I think Grad school will help me. Not necessarily because of the education (I mean, it will help TONS) but because when people see that you have an MSW and a license, they're more likely to take you seriously. I figure if I start school now, I can take advantage of in-state tuition and funding for in-state students to pay for some of this. I'm just scared about the bigger amounts of loans I will probably have. It sucks so much that to further your education, you have to put yourself in so much debt, and there is VEEEERRRRYYY little chance to ever get rid of it, or have it lessened.

Also, I learned interesting things over the past few nights about a few of my exes. It hurt to learn these things but I had to really laugh. As upset as I should be about it, I have to smile and shake it off. I'm glad these relationships didn't work. Well, one I wished did work, but he was smoking way too much for me to handle.

I also learned some bad news about a friend of mine and why he has been in and out of touch. So I'm dealing with that right now. It's weird for me though, he's very interested in kink and asked me to take him on as my own. I'm naturally submissive person, though I have my tendencies to not be lol. I think this will be an interesting development. For as spacey a kid as he is (he's a bit younger than me, but not a real kid), he is so nice. Right now, we're just in talks about what he expects and knows about a D/s relationship. It will be interesting for me to see how this all plays out and what it develops into.

The Sonnet of You - A Poem

I wrote a lot in high school. It was my thing. I was the one a lot of my brother's friends came to for help with writing a poem or paper before their class. It came easily to me in high school. I figured I'd brush out my old poems and type them out.  I promise to get back into writing actual blog posts later on. Haven't been feeling it lately =/ So, for today, I present "The Sonnet of You".
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You look at me
From across the dock
You were looking at the sea,
Then suddenly, 

Our eyes lock.
I can’t believe you walked my way
My face turned red and my eyes darted to the ground
I had to hold on because I started to sway
The way you walked made no sound.
You were before me in a blink of an eye
I looked up as you stroked my face
When you pulled me close, I let out a sigh
You pulled a ribbon from our pocket; it was lace
You kissed me as you put the ribbon around my neck
We didn't care if people began to stare.