Just a Taste - a story

          There’s something about him that I just can’t resist. It’s when he starts kissing me; it’s like he’s a different person. As soon as he starts kissing me, I’m His. He knows just what to do and every time it’s the same. He takes his time. He is patient with his movements, with his touches. There is something about him that I just can’t resist.

     He didn’t touch me apart from my face and he just stayed like that and kissed me for a while. He knew exactly what it was doing to me; he could feel how much I wanted him by the way I was kissing him back. By the way I pushed my body into his. But he wouldn’t give in. Not yet. Instead, he started kissing my neck. He went for that little area just below my ear. The kissing and the feel of his hot breath only worked to make me want him more. I wrapped my legs around him and found myself grinding against his leg, begging him to touch me. But he didn’t. He just chuckled. He just kissed down my neck a little bit more, occasionally giving it little bites. I started to moan. I just let a few little sighs escape from my lips. I felt his hand on my hip. He was still kissing my neck, but I felt him tease his hand under my top and round my back. His hand squeezed my hip. He unclasped my bra; took my top off and then the bra. His hand moved back down to my waist then up to my breast. He cupped it; started to kiss me some more, then I felt his fingers tease my nipple, making it erect and making my kissing more desperate. I moved from lying on my side to lying on my back. He climbed on top of me. The weight of him there turned me on some more. He kissed my neck a little longer, before slowly moving his lips down to my breasts. He gave my left nipple a lick before he gave it a few teasing nips. Then he put his mouth round it and started sucking my nipple. My breathing started to get heavier and my fingers curled, gripping the bed sheet I was lying on.  There is something about him that I just can’t resist.

     The small moans started again, but this time a little bit louder and lasting a little bit longer. I could feel the wetness between my legs, and I wanted nothing more than for him to touch my pussy. He stayed sucking and biting my nipple, and using his fingers to play with my other one. Then he stopped. He moved his mouth and moved his hand, and pulled himself up so his face was facing mine. I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted him to carry on; I wanted him to fuck me. But instead he smirked; he started to kiss me some more. But then I felt his hand move down. Down to my skirt. He popped open the button and pushed down on the fabric. His hand moved down some more. He rested it on the curve of my belly just above my panties and his fingertips stated to grazes where he had rested them. My body started to twitch and tingle with excitement knowing how close he was to touching me.

     He moved his hand back up and grabbed the top of my skirt and started tugging at it, pulling it down off my legs. He took them off then resumed his position on top of me. He put his hand between my legs and started to gently scratch the inside of my thighs. I opened my legs a bit more, trying to encourage him to move his hand to my pussy and feel the wetness of what he’d done to me. He teased me some more, but I could feel him grabbing now and it was getting more intense. I knew he was stopping himself from ripping my panties off and putting his fingers inside me. He moved his hand a little bit more. He was right there now. He started to rub me through my panties and kissed me on my neck. I moved underneath him, helping him, making sure he wasn’t doing all the work. I felt his lips move to my ear. He breathed right into it, causing a tingle to move from the top of my head right down to the tip of my toes.

            "I want to taste you."

     He moved himself down my body, making sure to give me kisses on my neck, nipples, and bellybutton as he worked his way down. He got to my pussy, put his mouth round it and breathed onto it through the material of my panties. I felt his hands move up and his fingers curl around the waistband of my panties as he pulled them down and off. He pulled himself back up to my pussy and I could see in his face how much he wanted to busy his face in it. He parted my lips and gave my clit a few gentle licks. A satisfied sigh fell from my mouth and I knew it wouldn't take long for me to orgasm.

     He had built up so much and taken so long, I knew I was going to come while he was going down on me. He licked a few more times before putting his whole mouth over my clit and beginning to suck. I felt his fingers tease the opening to my pussy before pushing one finger inside me easily. I was so wet. I was making his finger wet. And this turned me on more. He was sucking my clit and rubbing my g spot. My breathing was getting heavier and I heard myself moans some more. I wanted to feel like this forever. I felt amazing. I felt so good. I felt him put another finger inside me and I started to feel myself reaching the top of ecstasy. I started grinding my pussy against his mouth. I started to feel dizzy. Stars began to float across my vision. My breathing got heavier. I could feel my mind emptying all thoughts that were in it. Words, that I now can’t remember, started coming out of my mouth as well as the moans and sighs I had already been doing. I felt my legs start to twitch. I felt my clit start to throb. I was so close now and I couldn’t wait. His sucking got more intense as he started to use his teeth gently to help me along. His fingers inside me started working faster and deeper, rubbing my g spot and then it happened.

     It started at my clit. A tingling bit of electricity that started and spread out round the whole of my body in a circle. I felt the tingle move up through my stomach. I felt it moving down my legs. Then it reached my breasts. It moved out through my arms, up my neck and down my ankles. It reached my toes, fingers and the top of my head last. Then I felt it start again at my clit and move out. My mind was completely empty. I had a vague idea that I was moaning and making noises, but it felt so distant from my body. I could think of nothing but how amazing I felt right then, right there at that moment. And I didn’t want it to stop. I didn’t want it to ever stop. I wanted to this feeling to last forever. I felt so incredibly sexy, and the tingling throb kept restarting at my clit and moving out.
I dug my heels in the bed, crawled my way up and my pussy away from his face. I felt his fingers still moving in and out of me and I pulled myself up some more then lay to the side of where he was. I screamed out. His fingers moved more roughly against my g-spot. My screaming became louder. I could feel the warmth spreading over my body again. I looked down. He had that smirk on his face. I pushed my head back into the pillow and screamed. I drenched him; he chuckled and pushed against my g-spot again. I screamed more, squirting out harder this time. I crawled away from him again. He pulled his fingers out and smiled. I lay there for a while. Dizzy with happiness. Tears falling from my eyes from the sheer intensity I had felt and was still feeling. My body twitched as my clit started to slow down the tingling until it stopped. My breathing slowed and I opened my eyes. His face was over mine, smiling and smug. He leaned down and kissed me, pushing his soaked fingers into my mouth.
   
       "Every time," he said, "I can do it every time."

     His eyes sparkled as he crawled and laid down next to me. His warm arm wrapped around me and pulled me close. I was still putty in his hands. I sighed happily and rested my head against his chest. My eyes were heavy and I could hear him chuckle. "Nap. I'll be here when you wake." I smiled and let me eyes close as I drifted off in his arms. This was happiness.

Contemplation of Things

I feel as if I am in some sort of mental limbo. I'm not really sure where my mind is or where it wants to go. I thought I had a rasp of what I wanted; I thought I had a grasp of the things that I felt would be beneficial for me. However, as soon as they neared, I didn't take the chance and grab them and now that it's getting away, I'm left to wonder if it was what i actually needed.

With recent proclamations of feelings from friends (a few actually), I am left to wonder things. Have I led these people on? What could I have done that made them start to feel this way? Do I feel the same way? Could I ever go back to having a vanilla relationship? I don't know. I've been debating if finding someone who is into my kinks is even possible anymore. Perhaps it would be easier (and better for me) if I pushed it all away and went back to vanilla. As much as I think of this option, I know it would never happen. I don't want to go back to repressing the things that I like. I don't want to go back to feeling the emotional pain of hiding things that I like and hiding that part of myself from someone.

I'm sick of the unattached sex though. Since Drake has been long out of the picture (and my mind), I find that I have not felt a connection with anyone even a fifth that I had with him. I've found so many who I would love to be better friends with, but I have to pull back when I realize that all they want from me is to play. I'm not against play, but it's not my main objective anymore. I want people in my life who will be there to hang out and have fun times with. I'm tired of being seen as the girl that people can play and fuck around with, but who is not seen as relationship material (I have actually been told that too).

So, to see what would happen - I made a remark about going celibate for a while. I expected a few people to be weirded out by that idea. I did not expect that there would be those who would spit in my face (so to speak) and walk away from me, or even appear to be angry at me. I realized then that these people who I thought were friends, had a different motive and that bombshell had curbed it hardcore. I even got texts from people who seemed to be taking a hiatus from talking to me! My little experiment started to show me the true colors of people I was hanging around with.

It sucks and it hurts having to now wonder why people are befriending me from now on. Is it because they actually want to know me? Or are they trying to know me enough so I will have sex with them? Maybe I do need to take sex off the table for a while and see what happens.

25 Things You Don’t Have To Justify To Anyone

I found this while surfing the web and nodded at everyone of them, so I thought I would share it with you all :). Found this on the ThoughtCatalog.


1. Your job. Yes, even if you’re working something that other people condescendingly term “not a real job,” such as retail or service. If you have a job of any kind in this economy, you've already won.

2. Whether or not you have debt. If you managed to get out of your education debt-free, that doesn't mean that your life is a financial walk in the park that you constantly have to be apologizing for. If you are in debt, it doesn’t mean you got a “worthless” degree and now deserve to be shamed for struggling to find work after you were convinced by your school that you were making a good decision.

3. The kind of food you enjoy eating, or why you enjoy eating. (No matter how “uncultured” or “boring” or “gross” someone else might deem your favorite food.)

4. Your decision to have children, or not have them, or to not be sure if you even want them.

5. Your dislike for marriage as an institution — and even if this one day changes, you don’t have to justify having grown as a person and moved into a new point of view. No one should be telling you “I told you so” over something as enormous as your decision to commit for life to another person.

6. Your sexuality, or your desire to experiment with it. You are allowed to have “phases” or “try things out” or be “confused,” and can take as much time as you want figuring it out.

7. Your gender presentation.

8. Your income level, and what you can and cannot afford. If you are having trouble keeping up with friends because you are not able to spend as much as them, there is no reason to risk financial ruin to try and keep up appearances.

9. Your body. The only person whom you need to talk to about with it is your doctor; everyone else can else can go kick rocks.

10. Whether or not you want to go out on a weekend night, or ten weekend nights in a row. The amount of time you spend in a bar or at a club does not directly correlate with how cool or worthy a person you are.

11. Your relationship status. If you’re single and happy, that’s great. If you’re in a relationship and happy, that’s great. If you’re either of those and not happy, you are more than allowed to be, and it’s no one’s business how you should “fix” it unless you ask them for their advice.

12. How many friends you have. One is enough. A hundred is enough. And there is no need to falsely upgrade acquaintances to “friend” status in your mind simply to fill out the ranks. A true friend is rare, and we don’t need to make it a competition for who has the most.

13. How much you drink when you go out, or if you drink at all, or why you choose not to drink if you do.

14. What kind of music you enjoy listening to.

15. What kind of an education you have or don’t have, or if you intend to go back and finish what you’ve started. If continuing your studies is something you want to do, good, but don’t be forced into saying that you want it just because it’s what people expect of you.

16. What you happen to be turned on by. If you like slash fiction, you like slash fiction. If you like people recording videos of themselves popping balloons, that’s awesome for you. It’s all good, and as long as you’re not hurting anyone, have at it.

17. Whether or not you know to cook, even if you’re a woman who “should” know how to do those things.

18. If you stay at home to raise your children, or if you hire someone to help you do so because you have a full-time career. Neither of those choices are more or less feminist, no matter what Elizabeth Wurtzel tells you.

19. How many people you have had sex with.

20. Whether or not you are a virgin, and whether or not you want to wait for marriage to lose said virginity.

21. Whether or not you believe in God, and what you think God actually is. (As long as you’re not imposing any of your beliefs on others, in which case we’d have a bit of a problem. But I trust that you’re cool and wouldn't do that.)

22. Who you voted for and why. If you want to talk about it, you’re free to. But no one should ever make you feel like you have to tell them.

23. If you have sex on a first date, if you kiss on a first date, or if you won’t even hold hands on a first date. You’re allowed to do whatever you like when you've just met a new potential suitor.

24. Whether or not you choose to use dating websites.

25. Not knowing exactly what you want to be when you grow up, even if many people would already put you in the category of “grown up.” If you are considering going back to school, or changing careers, or moving, or starting a family, or doing charity work — it’s all good. And none of it has to be followed up with a longwinded explanation about why it’s a good idea and they should believe in you. If you need to justify what makes you happy to someone in your life, perhaps you should ask yourself why you even care about their opinion in the first place.